this is not summer!!!

summer should be about having the time of your life, meeting some boys, partyin it up...
well that's what i would love it to be
still jobless. last year i was so picky and turned down every job offer that i had. this year im desperate for anything and all the places that i applied to have no openings. what am i going to do?
i can't stay at home! i'm going to die of boredom. seriously.
trying to be productive by reading (don't believe i picked up a book since november), cleaning up the place, and catching up on my korean since i had to quit classes last year. i figured it would come in handy for next year.
i will DEFINITELY go to korea next year! sighs need a job if my parents decide not to pay for it.
plane ticket=1500
food and living expenses= a couple of thousand. we eat a lot!
shopping=more money
oh boy.

goals

someone reminded me that we should constantly be aware of our goals. we should be doing everything in our power to reach these goals. otherwise what is the point in living?

so far i have a million things on my list
at a glance many of my goals seem far-fetched
but if i truly work hard i believe i can achieve them
hopefully in the future when i look back on this list i can cross a bunch of things out

i must first tackle down my arch enemy, procrastination.

hehehe

i love sending out packages
receiving packages are even better

forgot to mail out the ones that i packed. should send them out soon before i end up eating all the
goodies i packed them with >.<

stress

getting these massive headaches lately from stress
and it's only the beginning of semester. what is going on?
maybe from...
lack of sleep
lack of food - seriously i do not get to eat
no breakfast since im always late
no lunch since i have classes back to back during the afternoon
and dinner...i dont have the appetite when im reading books for philosophy and doing 50 problems for calculus and trying to catch up with organic chemistry which is practically the same thing as general chemistry so far.....
i already want to quit school. still have 5 more years to go
i wish i had hbfs right now. just chilling and staying out would make me feel so much better
i need a stress reliever...

just a dream

sometimes i never want to wake up. my dreams feel so real at times that i just want to stay there. a place where nothing bad happens ...unless i happen to watch a scary movie the night before. they say that people usually dream in black and white - why are my dreams full of color? am i just making things up? sometimes i can't even tell the difference between a dream and reality. i wake up thinking what happened in my dream is true than i find myself in my very bland room and im like "dang". i think my dreams are influenced by the dramas i watch. seriously dramas fill up your head with different scenarios and how you'll end up living a happy life with someone that you love....sighs

do you remember...

randomly i'll remember things from a long time ago usually triggered from a smell or a picture or
something. it's odd how the mind works. i can sometimes have crystal clear memories of when i
was four and five years old. isn't it odd? i can't even remember what i did last week let alone
yesterday. i hate it when you can't fully remember....like when you smell something and that feeling
comes back to you of how happy you were when you were little. that's why i force myself to write
things down in my journal. i'm a little behind but i do keep a shorthand copy on my laptop. i wonder
if i will even find the time to fully lay down my thoughts on a piece of paper.

one of my fears is forgetting the best years of my life (if they even have occurred yet). it's easy
to remember the bad things, but how come it's hard to remember the good things. i still remember
getting in trouble when i was young, the bad things i did. i remember even single detail, but it's hard to remember all the good memories...is it because i've had so many of them?

what i want for christmas

MONEY
they say that money isn't everything, but in this world it is

i want money so i can always chill my friends. lol we always end up wasting so much money on food,
nrb and more food. even though we don't really do anything special i love spending time with them

i want money so i can travel the world. i want to go to australia, thailand, korea, japan, egypt, hong
kong and many other places. i also have a list of what i want to do in each of the places

i want money so i can get what i want. there are so many things that i want and so many limitations.
i want a new phone..my nokia is an antique. i want a instant film camera<-the photographs that
you take with them are more special. there is only one copy in the world...unless you scan it lol. i
want.....

sighs i should get a job.